The Power of Makeup

            

            Makeup, for the longest time and, still, to this day, was seen as something shallow, vain. If you put makeup on, you're shallow, vain, not confident, trying to hide something. "Take her swimming on the first date" is a meme that's constantly all over social media, as if a woman's worth should be placed on her physical appearance, on the amount of makeup she wears, as if women wear makeup to deceive men or for men, in general. I can tell you the amount of times me and friends have worn makeup for guys: zero. That's right - guys don't care how perfectly blended your eyeshadow is, how long your lashes look, how poppin' your highlighter looks. I don't take pictures of my makeup and send them to boys - I send them to my girlfriends.

                Recently, as I've been dealing with regaining control of my life, I found myself turning to makeup as an act of self love, a way to deal with panic attacks and anxiety. I would spread all of my products and brushes on my desk and just spend 30 minutes playing with colours and lipsticks and eyeliners. Putting them on my face soothed me, made me feel calmer and more confident. Feeling beautiful at a time where I felt so low and worthless helped me power through a lot of days. It wasn't about putting on a mask or basing my self-worth on my appearance, it was about taking the time to be with myself. Having those moments where it was just me, concealing my eye bags, taking away the greyish look my skin had gained from being sick, was therapeutic. It gave me hope, about who I used to be, about who I wanted to be, about how much I wanted to get better. It wasn't vain or shallow. It's a girl, trying to find a way to love herself in whatever way possible.

                It's so easy to dismiss things that are based on physical appearance as superficial, but our interiors and our exteriors are connected. They influence each other, for the better or for the worst. When you need to feel good about yourself, you should aim to do so as a whole, but it needs to start somewhere, and if that somewhere is your exterior, that is as a good of a step as any and no one should ever make you feel ashamed of less than for it. Everyone tries to find ways to make dealing with life less hard and gruelling. So go ahead, put some makeup on if it makes facing life a little easier. At least, you're finding a way to keep on going.