Reading To Do Better: Thoughts on Bad Feminist, by Roxane Gay

“I embrace the label of bad feminist because I am human. I am messy. I’m not trying to be an example. I am not trying to be perfect. I am not trying to say I have all the answers. I am not trying to say I’m right. I am just trying—trying to support what I believe in, trying to do some good in this world, trying to make some noise with my writing while also being myself.”

I first heard about this book through a Buzzfeed list of books to read and became intrigued by the title,  the amazing reviews and after checking out Gay's twitter account I was sold. I knew this was a book that I wanted to - actually, that I needed to - read. It sat on my pile of 'To Read' books for a very long time and every time I read any of Roxane Gay's writing, like her several NYT op-eds or thought pieces on a variety of issues regarding race and gender, I was dead set on digging into this book and devouring it.

                The book starts with the author explaining the concept of Bad Feminist and why she considers herself one. I immediately connected with it, picked up a pencil and started underlining several passages because I knew I would want to remember them. Her essay on the concept of bad feminist is so interesting and so, so relevant. Nowadays, so many people feel like there is a formula for what Feminist is and how someone who calls themselves a feminist should be and act. In her first essay, Gay tears that down and just lays down the facts - everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect, therefore no one can be a perfect feminist. Feminism doesn't mean you hold the moral high ground on anything - it just means you believe in gender equality. You can have this belief and still make mistakes. I know - what a crazy concept that human beings make mistakes.

                My favourite thing about this book is how the writer owns up to her mistakes and her own faults and insecurities throughout. She doesn't sugar code anything. She speaks her mind and is incredibly direct and straight to the point, which I really, really enjoyed. The book deals with many sensitive, uncomfortable topics and the fact that she is so straightforward with her thoughts and opinions makes this book more than something you read to entertain yourself - it turns it into something you read to educate yourself. You can also tell she's an academic - all the evidence supporting her writing and the quotes and facts reminded me of all the essays I've had to write for college and it kind of made feel connected to her in a weird way.

                As a white woman this book did make me uncomfortable in several ways. Her thoughts on race and specifically race in the media made me rethink my own perception of the portrayal of people of colour in films and television and made me aware of certain stereotypes I never even considered before. Her essay about the movie "The Help" was a tough one to read. I loved that movie and had a different interpretation than her - because, well, maybe my skin colour has conditioned me to that - and I actually made myself re-watch the movie to try and really understand where she was coming from. And even though I still love the film, I did. Race is something we just be discussing with honesty and empathy, even if it makes you uncomfortable. White privilege is real and it's time we start acknowledging it. As someone who is white, I believe I have the responsibility to learn and listen to perspectives that show me how different the world can be for people based on the colour of their skin. Roxane Gay does a really good job at doing just that, even though I don't really think the education of white people is at the top of her concerns, nor should it be.  Some of those essays will make you uncomfortable - and that's exactly why you should read them.

                I love reading things that I feel make me a better person, a person who is more aware and willing to do better and pay even more attention. This is a book to read if you want to be more, uh, woke. Unfortunately, I feel like this book will be extremely relevant for a very long time, so you'll have plenty of time to catch up.