A Journey to Body Confidence, Part I: Feminism and Instagram

     As a short girl with curves, I've spent a very long time feeling uncomfortable in my body. Trying to hide it with baggy jeans and baggy sweaters. My body always looked different - in my eyes - than the bodies of my friends and I didn't like it. I resented anything remotely feminine.

     I was always "the smart one" in my group of friends. I wasn't the pretty one, the one boys liked. I was the smart one. In movies, smart girls always wear baggy clothes and have disdain for girls who like makeup and fashion and looking cute. I became that girl. I thought girls who were into those things were shallow and unintelligent and I didn't want to be like them. Middle school is rough, guys. Looking back on some of the things I believed back then... Damn, I can only cringe.

lil' old me being all like "you can do it!"

     

     Then, in high school, I discovered Feminism. Everyday I'm thankful for that. Learning about feminism, reading about it, becoming a feminist, changed my whole outlook on life, and most importantly, my outlook on myself. You start to become aware of the ways society sets up women to fail. They feed us this ideal of "the perfect body" and make it unattainable, impossible to reach and therefore curse a huge percentage of the female population with self doubt and a inability to see their worth. You realize the stereotypes enforced on women and how most of them aren't true - women can be smart and like makeup! Who would've thought?! Women can like fashion and be able to discuss history and politics and love books! What?! How?! Female friendships don't have to be toxic. They can be wonderful and supportive and amazing! Now, say what? Lies! All lies!

     Feminism liberated me in ways I never thought possible. I was able to become who I wanted to be, regardless of what that meant/means. It allowed me to explore who I was, to do the things I wanted, to accept that having leadership skills isn't the same as being bossy, to be less judgemental of my fellow members of womanhood, to be more accepting, to educate myself on the ways women struggle all over the world, to recognize my own privilege, to help fight the stereotypes and stigmas that hold women down. It opened up a brand new world of goodness for me and made me a better person.

     Now, one might think how does Instagram - a social media app based on making things seem perfect - come into play in one's search for confidence? Well, Instagram is the place for people to showcase their seemingly perfect lives. So much of what you see are perfect brunch pictures, sunsets and superbly edited selfies. I'm guilty of looking at them and guilty of posting them, but who isn't, right?

     However, through Instagram I have found a community of young women determined to break down stereotypes of what it means to be perfect, young women focused on making the world a better place, taking action on a wide range of issues, young women taking control of their bodies and the policing they suffer, young women being themselves, wholly, without apologizing for it. Women determined to showcase the full spectrum of womanhood and create safe places for other women to find what womanhood means for them.

     That is incredibly inspiring. Watching all of these women live their truths so fully has inspired me to live my own truth, without shame, without fear of judgment, to accept myself and not allow other people to dictate how my life should be. And that is a great lesson to take from such a seemingly superficial site - womanhood comes in a lot of shapes, but regardless of your truth, women are always stronger together. 

You can follow me on Instagram here.