A Journey to Confidence, Part II: Surround yourself with good people

               Nothing can be more damaging to your psyche than being surrounded with toxic people, especially when you don't realise how toxic they are. As someone who has had really shitty friends, let me tell you - it's not worth it. Some people are bad for you, some friendships won't work no matter how much you want them to, you shouldn't feel obligated to be friends with anyone, sometimes you need to walk away and that's fine.

                The people you allow into your life can have such a tremendous, meaningful impact - negative and positive. For the longest time I was friends with people who judged me, made snarky little comments about me and the things that I liked, people who made me feel like I wasn't cool enough, that I wasn't enough. And for a very long time I believed it. I was always a really lonely kid, I wanted to have friends so bad, I tried so hard to be everything to everyone and gave so much of myself away only to be let down over and over again. I never felt like I had a place I belonged, people I could call my own, people that called me their own. It had a really big impact in how I saw myself and most likely how other people saw me.

                That changed - for the better. With time, you start to become aware of the negative influence these people have in your life and you start to distance yourself from them. Sometimes, it's a relief, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders, like you can walk better and faster. Other times, it's slow and painful and miserable. You learn as you get older that some friendships aren't meant to work, to last. You learn that you're better off alone at times, than to be with people who are so bad for you. You learn to hold on and value the good ones. The friends that inspire you, lift you up when you're feeling down, that give you the space you need to be who you are and never judge for it. For the longest time, I thought I wouldn't find these people - but I have.

                I've met some incredible, kind, funny, generous human beings these last couple of years. One of the best things college brought into my life. People who are not afraid to laugh out loud even when it makes others look at them funny. People who dance and sing in the middle of the street as easily as they in the middle of a sweaty University party. People who share their hopes and dreams and are vulnerable with each other. People who get excited about things! People that are not afraid to get excited about things they love, giddy even. People who listen. People who never made me feel bad about myself, but instead embraced me for who I am. People who skip classes to sit outside in the sun and talk for hours on end. People who want to do better, be better. People who insist on lifting each other up. People who give compliments away like lollipops, like they're free and sweet and easy to hand out. People who are willing to go above and beyond for you.

                I've changed a lot because of them. I accepted a lot of things about myself, because I don't fear they will turn their backs on me because of it. I grew into my own skin, with these wonderful humans beside me, encouraging me to be more of me. That's what friendship is supposed to do - make you better. If it doesn't, is it really worth it?